Tag Archives: Zaron Burnett III

BETTE DAVIS AND THE BALCONETTES “Shopping On The Internet”

11 May

If you miss riot grrrls and punk rock girls who’d spit in your face and steal you beer along with your heart… then this song is for you.

They’re not Americans, they’re late 90s British punk. And we only wish we had the chance to see them play live.

It may take you more than one listen, but check the lyrics… some may stick with you perfect for those time when you could use a good  laugh.

HANNI EL KHATIB “Family”

11 May

 

This dude Hanni El Khatib is a genuine rocknroll badass. And we’re damn sure glad he came along. The world needs a little more of his sort of boot-stomping wildman rocknroll. It’s good for the blood and good for the soul.

I’m sure he’ll be all over commercials as soon as you’re reading this but hell it’s still damn good music.

And this video… shit like this is the best side of globalism. One giant melange of world culture… with plenty of strange-beautiful nudity, pointless but fun guns, thrown around motorbikes and Japanese gangsters in their tight whiteys. This video has everything!

TOP TEN: Reasons Why Surfing’s Cooler Than All Other Sports

8 Oct

by Zaron Burnett III

10.  It’s the only sport you use Sex Wax

9.  What other sport will you see dolphins next to you?

8.  Unlike in football, a surfer never has to reach between another guy’s legs to start surfing

7.  Surfers hang out at the beach, boxers hang out in Las Vegas

6.  No girl has ever said a pro bowler looked sexy leaving a bowling alley

5.  Surfers never get charged with sodomizing massage therapists in Colorado.  I’m looking at you Kobe Bryant

4.  Other than smoking pot surfers don’t use performance-enhancing drugs

3.  Unlike a horse, a surfboard never takes a shit while you’re riding it

2.   Surfers get tans… Bicycle racers get testicular cancer

1.  Surfers get a face full of ocean-spray, wrestlers get a face full of ball-sweat

CENTURY OF THE WOMAN: GINA CARANO

27 Sep

by Zaron Burnett III

It’s over for men.  We’ve lost.  Women will soon rule the world.  The 21st Century will one day be known as The Century of the Woman.  Fuck China… fuck robots and nanotechnology… this century belongs to women…  and their growing power will give this century its shape.

I imagine this is how white guys felt when black guys first started playing pro basketball.

This week’s evidence of… The Century of the Woman: Gina Carano.

Have to admit I intended to see “Haywire” when it was in the theaters, but for some reason I missed it.  Here’s the trailer:

And since I slept on it… I didn’t learn who Gina Carano was until last week.   But I quickly made up for lost time.  Now I know a lot about her because as soon as I finished watching the Steven Soderbergh-directed “Haywire,” I had to learn… who is… Gina Carano.  And most of the time I read about her or watched an interview, I kept muttering… “Holy shit…”

Here she is in a pre-“Haywire” interview, back when she was a professional MMA-fighter doing the late-night tv circuit.  She’s so nervous in this interview, and the poor host, Craig Ferguson, he almost suffered a coronary event when she compared cage-fighting to sex:

We see it everywhere thesedays… women are taking over.   Women like… Gina Carano.

According to journalist Liza Mundy, today, women receive more college and post-collegiate degrees, they’re dominant in 8 of the 10 fastest-growing industries and… well, let’s face it, there’s really nothing holding women back anymore.  Women are doing more and more of the heavy-lifting in Western culture.  At this summer’s Olympics, American women won 66% of the gold medals for America.  They took home more gold medals than most other countries won.

It’s happening anywhere and everywhere you look.  And now it’s happened at the Cineplex… that purest barometer for all things cultural in America.  The place where we watch the “dreams” of our culture dance in the dark.

Sure, you may argue… women have been kicking ass in the movies for decades now.  True enough.

Sigourney Weaver in the “Aliens” movies, Linda Hamilton in the “Terminator” movies, Milla Jovovich in the “Resident Evil” series of films, Kate Beckinsale in the “Underworld” movies and even, Angelina Jolie in “Salt,” the “Tomb Raider” movies and in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”…

They all kicked much cinematic ass.

But did I ever believe any one of them could actually kick my ass?  Not one second.

That’s all changed.

Finally, there’s a female action star who doesn’t need the label female… she’s just an action star.

And in those predatory eyes I see the future reflected back at me.

No reason to be afraid of the future, guys.  Especially when the future is fucking all-the-way badass like… Gina Carano. 

I feel bad for the robots.

Mustafa Effortless & Dirrty Brahms “D”Menz”

21 Aug

From the Underground of LA Hip-Hop comes the latest by Mustafa Effortless & Dirrty Brahms from their album “Die MIND”…

A haunted Harlem story of growing up pushed by the demons in yo’ daddy’s semen…

…What you know about that?